Breathe in the Wreckage

By Emma Pearson

October 24, 2020

22 September 2019

Megan Devine’s Writing Your Grief Prompt inviting us to be with the pain, the despair, the wreckage… asking what would it take for us to feel the pain and not run away from it

What would it take for me to breathe in the wreckage?

I am breathing in the wreckage
I don’t need to go looking for it
I am in it
I am breathing in it
I am breathing in the wreckage

It makes me want to vomit
My heart sinks into my belly
My belly sinks to my knees
My knees give way
I crumple
I crash within the wreckage

The wreckage that happened and
Happened again and
Happened again again
A massive pile-up in my life
And in the lives of
Too many loved ones around me

Too many lives affected
New survivors with each new crash
Stunned and dazed they
Stagger alongside those of us who are
Still staggering
Stunned and dazed from the
Last go around

This time it’s not just family –
Off-spring, siblings, and some grown-up friends
This time in the
Wreckage of the pile-up
There are many more

Youngsters
Teenagers
Neither child nor adult
Yet asked to handle an adult-sized disaster with a
Child’s resources

A friend who would naturally
Invite Julia to her upcoming birthday party
And isn’t sure what to do
Asks me if she and a friend can visit
And just sit and just be
In Julia’s room for a while

Missing her
Missing her vibrancy from their lives

I say yes – of course you can
And I add
Please invite Julia to your party
If it feels like the right thing to do
Invite her in whatever way makes sense

I sense that Julia won’t be there but
Perhaps she will be pleased to have been asked
And perhaps the birthday girl will feel she
Did what she could
To try to get Julia there

Perhaps it will create a tiny bit of
Space in her own pain of
Being in the
Wreckage

Breathe
Breathe
Breathe-in the wreckage
Breathe, in the wreckage

About Emma Pearson

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