16 September 2019
Megan Devine Writing Your Grief prompt – What would it mean to offer kindness to yourself in your grief?
Art courtesy of Rachael Goldfarb from of photo of my eyes
If I excel at anything
(And I deliberately use the word “excel”)
It is that I practise Extreme Self-Care
Extreme
Self
Care
I am proud of my skill and expertise
Haughty, maybe even arrogant
For without it I too would surely have died
And what use is yet another
Premature death?
None whatsoever
Here are some of my pet phrases
And if not daily, then weekly,
Practices
“Go gently, girlfriend”
“You’re doing okay, chica mia”
“If you chose to be kind to yourself, what would you do?”
“You’re doing the best that you can
With the resources that you have in this moment”
And of course, “It’s OK that you’re not OK”
Yoga – even if just Savasana and Child’s Pose
A walk with my dog
Stroking the cat
A run in the forest
A walk in the mountains
Sunshine on my face and wind in my hair
A massage or other healing treat
Each week if I have the time and money
A swim and a stretch in the sun afterwards
Frothy coffee in bed
Not one but two
Until I am ready to get up
Delicious and healthy food
Wine, red, white or rosé
With or without bubbles
Piano or other instrument-playing
Listening to music on Vinyl, CD or Spotify
Going to a concert together or alone
Films galore at arty cinemas
Supported by my cashmere shawl and flask of herbal tea
And all the better if the film makes me cry
I don’t attend others’ loved ones’ funerals
Or weddings
Unless they will provide more healing than pain
I smile at myself in the mirror
I help the edges of my mouth point upwards
With a gentle supportive nudge
Just yesterday I (re)learned that stroking firmly downwards
On my solar plexus brings a soothing calm
I notice and store and use and share these practices
Being with my Medjool
Gratefully reveling in and relishing his
Endless warm kisses and embraces
Savouring and re-savouring
What it is to be touched, seen
Felt, loved
A conversation with my alive children
And a chat with my dead loves
Oh – and of course – an early night
Extreme
Self-Care
With pride
