Clutching onto Solo-Parenting
April 29, 2024 No Comments29 August 2019 First posted on Soaring Spirits, Widow’s Voicehttps://www.soaringspirits.org/clutching_on_to_solo_parenting These last few days have been a mad rush. I accompanied my “now youngest” daughter Megan, who is 18, to start university in the middle of the UK. We live in France, so it’s a bit of a schlep, and since we take a flight, […]
Read MoreSo What if the Plane Goes Down?
April 29, 2024 1 CommentPosted on 2 September 2019. Recorded in the middle of the night of 23-24 August 2019. 1h01 in the morning, on the 24th of August. Just woken from having the most frightening dream, where I was in some kind of a ship or else massive plane. I woke up really cold in the dream. I […]
Read MoreShattered and Fragile, Though Not Completely Destroyed
April 29, 2024 6 Comments28 August 2019 I had one of those experiences today that remind me of the fragility, the tenuous-ness of my well-being, my composure and stability. The experience made me cry, and cry hard. Sometimes I think I don’t cry enough. I probably don’t. I’ve never been much of a crier. I know how and when […]
Read MoreJust Another Screwy Sunday
April 29, 2024 No CommentsPhoto of local run/walk under the Jura hills 25 August 2019 In 1986, back in the last millennium, back when there were dinosaurs, there was a popular song by The Bangles – “Manic Monday”. In the song, the lead singer wants to go back to Sunday. “It’s just another manic Monday I wish it was […]
Read MoreHealing Hurts
April 29, 2024 1 Comment17 August 2019 I often receive wise, warm words from friends. One friend, John C, yesterday wrote about how nothing in his grief is linear or predictable. Another, Mee-Yan, commented on the co-existence of strength and fragility, and the simultaneousness of myriad, varied emotions. And yet another, Laurence, wrote about the co-existence of ecstatic happiness […]
Read MoreFinding my (New) Community that I didn’t know Existed
April 29, 2024 2 CommentsFeatured Photo by Sarah Treanor (streanor.com) 10th August 2019 A need has been bubbling to the surface of my consciousness these past days as our “holiday” in the Dominican Republic draws to a close and my mind and heart, inevitably, lurch to “back home-ness”. As the incomprehension of my cumulative losses begins to make itself […]
Read MoreImpossible Questions, Unthinkable Answers
April 29, 2024 4 CommentsPhoto taken at Buen Hombre, Dominican Republic 3 August 2019 We (the new “we”; yet another new “we”) are in the Dominican Republic. On “holiday”. On holiday from what? Or for what? On holiday from “normality”? No. On holiday for “recovery”? For “healing”? No. Just on holiday. A different space than our usual space for […]
Read MoreAbsurdities_2
April 29, 2024 No Comments27th July 2019 So many absurdities about today. About this day, about this date. This date this year, and this date in recent years. Today is Mike’s birthday. He would be 56. Except he’s not because he’s forever 53. Mike is not here. Julia is not here. The incredulousness of those two absurdities is too […]
Read MoreWandering and Wondering
April 29, 2024 5 Comments23 July 2019 Tomorrow morning, before dawn, which is very early in these parts at this time of year, “my two older kids and I” head off on holiday. To the Dominican Republic. The mix of emotions couldn’t be greater. Julia chose our destination. She was insistent on NOT having a European holiday despite my […]
Read MoreAbsurdities_1
April 29, 2024 3 Comments19th July 2019 Image by Sarah Treanor (streanor.com) I write _1 because I sense there will be a whole series of Absurdities posts. Everything is absurd right now. I just got curious about the etymology of the word – apparently two main roots – “absurdus” meaning “out of tune” or “discordant”, and “surdus” meaning “deaf” […]
Read More