My partner is widowed: so what does that mean for our relationship?
October 22, 2025 8 CommentsPosted on 2nd April 2021, written on 26th March 2021 Image by Sarah Treanor, fellow widbud, on www.streanor.com My name is Neil, aka “Medjool”. As of June 2019, I have been fortunate enough to have entered the life and heart of Emma, who keeps this blogsite. Emma lost her husband, Mike, almost 4 years ago. […]
Read MoreUncharted Territory
October 22, 2025 No Comments28 March 2021 All photos my own, taken 27 & 28 March 2021 Yesterday I had my 54th birthday. An age Mike never made. He made 53 and 8 ½ months-ish. I was aware, to the date, 8th December 2020, when I became the age, to the actual day, that he died. Every day since […]
Read MoreBreaking Bad
October 22, 2025 4 CommentsMain Image by Denis Oliveira on Unsplash 22 March 2021 Anyone who reads these blogposts and/or asks me how I am doing and waits for the pause while I run my eyes over their face, my ears over their voice, my brain’s interpretation system over their written words to assess for “checking in” or “real […]
Read MoreCrumpling Face Like No Other
October 22, 2025 1 CommentImages of Geraldine Chaplin from “The Crown” taken by myself 14 March 2021 I continue to watch “The Crown”, at the rate of one or two episodes a week. I started in January and perhaps I will have finished all four series by the end of April if curfews would kindly stay in place. Every […]
Read MoreLessons in Love – Part One
October 22, 2025 No CommentsMain image on Unsplash by Engin Akyurt 8 March 2021 I have a daily gratitude writing practice that started at the beginning of 2020. Megan had given me a gratitude diary for Christmas in which it was suggested you write five things that you had to look forward to that day, then one thing at […]
Read MoreWhy her? Why him? Why now?
October 22, 2025 No CommentsMain image by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash 1st March 2021 Medjool has a precious childhood friend – let’s call him Yves – who is still very much a presence in his life today. To say that Yves is spiritually aware, spiritually curious, even spiritually provocative, would be an understatement. I am not privy to much […]
Read MoreHard Beliefs to Swallow
October 22, 2025 3 CommentsMain image from me.me 23 February 2021 One of the myriad books that’s been on my list forever is Gary Zukav’s 1989 book “The Seat of the Soul”. It’s been recommended to me by many people over the years, not least Oprah and Maya Angelou, as well as my “Grief Therapist” Tom Zuba. It finally […]
Read MoreSabre-Toothed Tigers on French Country Roads
October 22, 2025 No CommentsRandom Sabre-Tooth Tiger Image off the Internet. Other photos my own. 14 February 2021 I am on a French TGV, leaving behind me my parents who live south of Perpignan. The train left the station about 25 minutes ago and I am already in the lagoon-rich part of South East France, pink flamingos on either […]
Read MoreHello Wall
October 22, 2025 2 CommentsShirley Valentine Images from various Internet sites 4th February 2021 One of my favourite ever films is Shirley Valentine. It came out in 1989 when I was 22 and had already been in relationship with Mike for two years. I remember feeling so sure that I would not while my life away, or stick around […]
Read MoreTerry, I wish I’d loved you while you were still alive
October 22, 2025 No Comments2 February 2021 I like to claim that “I don’t do guilt”. It’s not that “I don’t do guilt at all”, it’s more that I try to catch any guilt quickly and figure out if the guilt is bringing anything of value. Mostly it’s not. Same same with regrets. I like to say “I don’t […]
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