March has been a Good Month for Healing Friendships
April 30, 2024 No Comments24 March 2019 I have been very fortunate this month to spend time with four dear old school and university friends. (We Brits differentiate between “school” and “university”. School for me is up to 18, and university is what came after that). Surprisingly, for an extrovert, I don’t go out much at the moment – […]
Read MoreInfinitely Finite
April 30, 2024 2 Comments28th February 2019 Image courtesy of Sarah Treanor (streanor.com) Writing Prompt from Megan Devine (refugeingrief.com and It’s OK that you’re not OK) One more John Green passage this week. He really does get grief and love. The Fault in Our Stars came out a few years after Matt died. I hated most books back then, mostly because they portrayed grief […]
Read MoreValentine’s Day
April 30, 2024 No CommentsPhoto credit Sarah Treanor https://www.streanor.com/ 14th February 2019 On this day 2 years ago, Mike was very ill already. He came downstairs in the morning having showered. I could tell that he’d lost a lot of his hair, “overnight” it seemed. I could see his scalp through his remaining hair. It just suddenly looked very […]
Read MoreHead for the Rhomboid Molar in the Orange Gum
April 30, 2024 No Comments10th February 2019 The experiment of my new life continues. Little experiments. Like whether or not to wear a full wetsuit, a full rash suit complete with stirrupy-things for my feet; a mere rash vest, or, god forbid, just my swimming cozzie, for one of many long-distance, open water swims this week. Medium-sized experiments. Like […]
Read MoreAt least! At least!! At least!!!
April 30, 2024 1 Comment20th January 2019 – Writing Prompt from Megan DevineImage by Julia Grace “In religion, as in war and everything else, comfort is the one thing you cannot get by looking for it. If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end: if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort […]
Read MoreMaybe Mike Was Right All Along
April 30, 2024 2 Comments16th January 2019 Quite a few years ago I decided “not to do guilt”. It’s served me well. At risk of sounding like a psychopath or a narcissist, who also apparently do not “do guilt”, I am sure I have saved hours and days, possibly weeks, of my time. While I can feel less than […]
Read MoreTen Things I Know To Be True
April 30, 2024 2 CommentsPhoto Courtesy of Sarah Treanor (streanor.com) One. Mike was one in a million. My life was a million times better with Mike. I have a million more problems without Mike. I have a million fewer resources without Mike. Mike was a million million good things. His death has meant a million million bad things. I […]
Read MoreGood Grief! Love Hurts
April 30, 2024 2 CommentsMain image courtesy of Sarah Treanor (streanor.com) 17th November 2018 When I was in my mid-20s, a lovely TV series starring Adam Faith and Zoe Wanamaker came out. It was called “Love Hurts”. The internet tells me it ran from 1992-1994. I don’t really remember anymore what it was all about. A forbidden, messy relationship, […]
Read MoreGrief is not contagious… and yet….
April 30, 2024 No Comments7th November 2018 Grief is not contagious… and yet… It reverberates inside me And outside me Almost invisible But not quite Truly felt Like contours On a detailed orienteering map Or soundwaves Invisible Yet felt All over Grief affects Every thought I think Every feeling I feel Every emotion I experience Every […]
Read MoreEclipsed (again) by the Shock and the Horror
April 30, 2024 No Comments5th November 2018 When… When will I really “get” that Mike is dead? When will the knowing finally sink in? When will the remembering not punch me full force in the gut? As if I didn’t already know. When will the pavement not open up with a chasmic (?) hole as I wander innocently about […]
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