Non-Stop Dead
May 9, 2021 No CommentsPhoto by Jr Korpa on Unsplash 9 May 2021 In the weeks and months after Mike died, people often asked me if I dreamt of him. I barely did. He was “in my dreams” – a presence in them – but dead. I remember resenting that I knew all the time, every moment, day or […]
Read MoreRe-Re, Re-Be
May 9, 2021 1 CommentRe-enter, Re-emerge, Re-cover, Re-silient, Re-be, Re-re 1st May 2021 Today is a stay-in-bed-dayI am feeling weepyI am feeling bereftI am missing my old lifeI am missing my dead lovesI am missing my alive loves The dog and cat were with me for a while but even they got bored and left It’s all so iterative. […]
Read MoreSweet Grief
May 9, 2021 No CommentsMain photo by Marcus Ganahl on Unsplash 25 April 2021 I am reading and/or listening to two startlingly wonderful books at the moment. Both make me sob and cry; my throat constricts, my shoulders slump and shake. Reading can be so physical and emotional. The first book (that I am actually reading) is “Dear Life” […]
Read MoreAlchemising Impermanence
May 9, 2021 No CommentsPhoto by Simon Berger on Unsplash 19 April 2021 Sometime around the age of 5, children learn that things and people die. Of course, some very young kids learn this earlier, through the tragedy of a close human death in their immediate entourage – be it the death of a sibling, parent or grandparent. But […]
Read MoreDouble Trouble
May 9, 2021 1 CommentAll photos our own 13th April 2021 13th April. One of those dates that – I assume – will always be lodged in my mind, in my heart, in my body, in my soul. Today is 25 years to the day since Mike and I got married, on a cold, grey day in Grasmere, Cumbria. […]
Read MoreSome Softer Dates
May 9, 2021 No Comments5 April 2021 Main photo by Sarah Treanor on streanor.comAll other photos my own It’s been a good week. Surprisingly good, for the time of year. A slew of special events and treats. Lots of variety – much more than in recent COVID-times – including a flight and a visit to another country! What’s not […]
Read MoreMa partenaire est veuve : quels impacts sur notre relation ?
May 9, 2021 3 CommentsPublié le 4 avril 2021, écrit le 26 mars 2021 Crédit photo: Sarah Treanor www.streanor.com, amie chère et veuve elle aussi Bonjour. Mon prénom est Neil, alias « Medjool ». Depuis juin 2019, j’ai l’immense chance d’être entré dans la vie et le cœur d’Emma, qui tient ce blogpost. Emma a perdu son mari, Mike, voici 4 […]
Read MoreMy partner is widowed: so what does that mean for our relationship?
May 9, 2021 7 CommentsPosted on 2nd April 2021, written on 26th March 2021 Image by Sarah Treanor, fellow widbud, on www.streanor.com My name is Neil, aka “Medjool”. As of June 2019, I have been fortunate enough to have entered the life and heart of Emma, who keeps this blogsite. Emma lost her husband, Mike, almost 4 years ago. […]
Read MoreUncharted Territory
May 9, 2021 No Comments28 March 2021 All photos my own, taken 27 & 28 March 2021 Yesterday I had my 54th birthday. An age Mike never made. He made 53 and 8 ½ months-ish. I was aware, to the date, 8th December 2020, when I became the age, to the actual day, that he died. Every day since […]
Read MoreBreaking Bad
May 9, 2021 4 CommentsMain Image by Denis Oliveira on Unsplash 22 March 2021 Anyone who reads these blogposts and/or asks me how I am doing and waits for the pause while I run my eyes over their face, my ears over their voice, my brain’s interpretation system over their written words to assess for “checking in” or “real […]
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