Widowing Empty Nests

Oh darling – where are you?

May 25, 2024 1 Comment

Photo by me – A red rose – Julia’s favourite flower. 19 May 2024 Many years ago – perhaps 20 or even more years ago – my dad talked about how he “checked that his brain was still functioning properly, every morning, on waking”. His check-in practice was to run his mind through each of […]

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My Non-Deep Time of Mothering

May 25, 2024 No Comments

Main image by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash 2nd May 2024 Twenty-five years ago today, 2nd May 1999, I became a mother for the first time. It was a Sunday. Our son Ben was born at 14h10 CEST, in Annemasse, France, barely an hour after Mike and I arrived at the hospital. It had been snowing […]

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More Than Human Losses

May 25, 2024 3 Comments

Photos my own – main photo with Ben, Megan and Julia, the day Black arrived – 22 April 2011 23 April 2024 A long, long time ago, back in the last millennium when many more species (if not exactly dinosaurs) still roamed the earth, I read “My Family and Other Animals” by Gerald Durrell. Even […]

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Loved Top To Bottom and Head to Toe

May 25, 2024 1 Comment

Image generated by AI – a woman rooted in love, loved from above and below 😉 17 April 2024 Today my elder daughter, Megan, turned 23. She was born at 1h25 a.m. A potentially inconvenient time, other than I’d been in hospital already for quite a few weeks (four? I honestly forget) on a permanent […]

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Thirteenth of April

May 25, 2024 No Comments

Photos my own/from my own collection. Main photo featuring stunning flowers received this week from precious Joan, Mike and Julia’s funeral cards, and a birthday card for Julia from her tree letter box. 13th April 2024 Twenty-eight years ago today, 13th April 1996, in Grasmere, Cumbria, it was trying hard to snow. Snowing in mid-April? […]

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The Youth of Today

May 25, 2024 3 Comments

Photos my own Written on 6th April; posted on 8th April 2024 A week ago, on 30th March, Julia would have been 20. Would-have-could-have-should-have-might-have been 20. Sometimes I cannot imagine her at 20, because she only made it to 15, and 15 and 20 are so very different in so many ways. And then at […]

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Being Danced

May 25, 2024 No Comments

Main Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash 29 March 2024 I remember when, in guided meditation teachings, I learned not just to pay attention to my breath, but to notice instead that I truly had to do nothing to take care of breathing….(duh!) That if I tried to manage, control, steer (etc) my breathing, […]

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Birthday Girl Over Eons and Ages

May 25, 2024 No Comments

Main image by Annie Spratt on Unsplash 28 March 2024 Yesterday, 27th March, was my birthday. Yes, I announce it far and wide. Even at the grand young-old age of 57. Rather like I have done since I was aged about five or six. I vividly remember when we still lived in Swansea, Wales (we […]

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Number Noodlings and Doodlings

May 25, 2024 No Comments

Photo (*) by Chris Linnett on Unsplash 5 March 2024 For a non-mathematician, I have a canny way with numbers. Or perhaps it’s simply the patterns in the numbers that I like. For I do love patterns of most kinds – especially the people-pattern kind, but that’s another story. My dad has a childhood bestie […]

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Magical Deepening of Mystery and Awareness – aka MDMA

May 25, 2024 2 Comments

Main image by Meritt Thomas on Unsplash 16th & 23rd February 2024 Two months ago, in mid-December 2023, I had my second psychedelic-induced non-ordinary experience. I wrote up a bit about the experience here – but always wanted to write more when I’d integrated, sensed into, and reflected upon things further. I’ve found that writing […]

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