Widowing Empty Nests

Bah Humbug!

February 23, 2020 1 Comment

16th December 2019 I am trying to get festive. I really am. But little things tick me off. Like Christmas decorations. Particularly the really garish ones. And the plastic snowmen. The ones in our house are okay. Right now, that’s the sum total of an undecorated Christmas tree. And fairy lights that never actually went […]

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Self-Care, Help and Comfort

February 23, 2020 1 Comment

8th December 2019 I have been pondering comfort, self-care, and help – what each of them is, to me, and what makes one or other easier and/or more accessible than another. Here is where I am at. And no, I have done no Googling or other research into what each of them is. Just research […]

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It’s About Time

February 23, 2020 1 Comment

2nd December 2019 Yes. I know. I have a funny thing about time. And dates. I take time to reflect on time and what time is, or might be. Linear? Circular? Fluid? Fixed? Conceptual? Real? Polychronic? Monochronic? Measurable? Full of meaning and emotion? Or void of emotion and meaning? Time takes on such a different […]

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Mourning Glories

February 23, 2020 No Comments

25th November 2019 One of my favourite widbuds is Charlotte, who I met last year at the Soaring Spirits Camp Widow event in Toronto 2018. She is beautiful and strong and capable and clever and funny. And she’s grieving. And despite her grieving, she attended my daughter’s funeral, “just because she happened to be in […]

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I love you like I love Mike

February 23, 2020 3 Comments

18 November 2019 A little over 6 months ago, at the end of April 2019, two months before my 15 year-old daughter Julia died by suicide, and 2 years after Mike my husband died, I met a man on a dating website. He’s called Medjool, after my favourite kind of dates. Big, chewy, tasty, sweet. […]

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For the Love of Dog

February 23, 2020 4 Comments

11th November 2019 After Mike died – indeed before he died, when he was ill – I know I set a clear intention to carry on living fully afterwards. In truth I never questioned whether or not I’d want to carry on living. For the last many decades, for as long as I can consciously […]

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Maudlin

February 23, 2020 1 Comment

1st November 2019 One of the patterns I have noticed in friends’ responses to whatever I happen to post on social media is that, when I post some good news, “happy photos”, or an achievement, I get 3 or 4 times as many “likes”, comments, and whoopy doos, than if I post something hard, messy, […]

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It’s Just a Piece of Metal

February 23, 2020 No Comments

27th October 2019 One of my favourite Mike stories, dating from before I met him, was frequently regaled in family conversations. I am sure that over almost thirty years, the story popped up at least once a year. More often after the kids were born. It made it onto the “Stories of Mike” CD Mike […]

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Running on Purpose_v2

February 23, 2020 No Comments

21 October 2019 Today would be 32 years since my first date with Mike. This is the second time I have written a blogpost with the exact same title. Hence the _v2.  The first was on my work website and was written on 7th June 2014. I had just completed a 36 km mountain trail […]

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Ricochet

February 23, 2020 No Comments

13th October 2019 Today is one of those exquisitely beautiful, bright autumn days. With temperatures that would feel “just right” on a mid-summer’s day, but with the added benefit of a gentle breeze to doubly kiss my bare skin as I sit now, in the garden, writing this piece. I have been out on a […]

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