Widowing Empty Nests

Sunrise over Chamonix after running through the night

September 28, 2021 No Comments

Photos my own, taken in Chamonix, France Originally written on 7 June 2021 Early in June this year, I was invited to write piece for “Like the Wind” magazine, founded by my friends Julie & Simon Freeman. Her “ask” was to write something running-related in.connection with the Sun. They wanted to have a series of […]

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Commemobrating

September 28, 2021 1 Comment

Photos my own 6 July 2021 I survived last week.I survived 30 June and 1 July.I survived the two year “deathiversary” of Julia’s death. Forever split across a date line, two days of the week, two dates, two months, even two quarters.Because from when I “know” she took her life, to when she was “officially” […]

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When “ex” means alive

September 28, 2021 No Comments

Photo my own. Our wedding rings turned into this necklace by jeweller Heather McDermott on the Isle of Skye 2 July 2021 Something I noodle over from time to time, is the weirdness of the word “ex-“ when prefixed to another word. Like “ex-boyfriend” or “ex-lover” or “ex-wife”.  The “ex-“ invariably means “alive”, and not […]

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And life, with all its devastation, trundles on

September 28, 2021 1 Comment

Punch-to-the-gut-photo which popped up on my facebook feed this week …. Julia & Megan playing oboe & flute, 21 June 2014 28 June 2021 I have just read a HuffPost article about how differently the “Back to Normal” phrase can be received by people, depending on what you’ve been living, what you’ve experienced.  The link […]

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Navigating Multiple Worlds

September 28, 2021 1 Comment

Image by Denise Jans on Unsplash 21 June 2021 It’s been a choppy week. A choppy week full of choppy days. I feel I have been on a constant dance, in and out of multiple worlds. Which is not quite how it might sound, in that I have not actually been in a coma, bordering […]

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Discharging Guilt

September 28, 2021 3 Comments

Main image by Callum Skelton on Unsplash 12 June 2021 One of Julia’s best friends, whose family asked me very directly, some six months after her death, never to contact them again, turned up unexpectedly at my door about 10 days ago.  The door was wide open, and I only knew she was there because […]

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Disappointed in the Spirit World

September 28, 2021 No Comments

Photo by Marek Piwnicki on Unsplash 7 June 2021 I want to believe in the Spirit world.I want to believe and trust in Mediums.I do believe in the Spirit world.And I do believe and trust in Mediums.Mostly. And yet… I can’t help but feel disappointed. Where were Mike’s and Julia’s spirits on a small group […]

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Navigating New Terrain

September 28, 2021 3 Comments

Photos my own 31 May 2021 I just re-read last week’s post to see if I had mentioned “Orienteering” and saw that – oddly – I hadn’t. However it was a feature underlying that piece of writing. Orienteering is where I had been with my parents, in Leucate, when I came across “Ed’s Feather” on […]

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The Smallest Of Gestures

September 28, 2021 3 Comments

Pictures created by myself. Main picture, my Grief Mentor. 24 May 2021 This past week has been abominably hard. Violently hard. Or should I say, this past week has had some abominably and violently hard moments, minutes and hours in it. Yes. That’s closer. I once heard that Christopher Reeve (aka Superman) said, after his […]

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On Life as Mayonnaise

September 28, 2021 2 Comments

Main image by Daniel Costa on Unsplash 17 May 2021 This isn’t a “deep” piece … just some in-the-moment noodlings, metaphors and wonderings. Sometimes people talk of “not being able to turn mayonnaise back into its component parts”, i.e., you can’t get your whole eggs back once you’ve beaten the hell out of them, mixed […]

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