Widowing Empty Nests

What I Wouldn’t Give…

January 18, 2021 1 Comment

10 November 2020 Painting by Julia – one of her last pieces, December 2018 Today is one of those days where Julia’s death, the reality of it, gets through to me… just a little bit more. Despite it always being present, always heavy in my heart, wearisome in my lungs, ponderous on my shoulders, tense […]

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On Love and Risk

January 18, 2021 No Comments

7 November 2020 Remember when, back in the 1980s, just as we were getting sexually active (if you’re my age), and AIDS hit….? There were all those adverts, in the UK at least, on billboards, in the press, perhaps even on TV – (no social media back then), of a gorgeous young woman or man…. […]

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Resilience Is…

January 18, 2021 3 Comments

1 November 2020 I could have gone a few different directions for this week’s writing. One was going to be about some death admin that was, in the end, straightforward and easy, if also hard. I might yet write about that, just because I do so love challenging my embedded belief that all admin (death […]

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Facing Death, Embracing Life

January 18, 2021 1 Comment

All photos my own, taken yesterday in the Drôme, France 25 October 2020 My beautiful friend Joan, one of the very very very few people who has (a) consistently been present, (b) more or less accessible, and (c) capable of sitting with and exploring whatever colour and shade of emotional energy has come up for […]

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My Life is Not Your Excavation Site

January 18, 2021 4 Comments

Main picture by Sabina Music Rich on Unsplash 18 October 2020 I had an experience yesterday which was wholly disagreeable in the moment, and of which similar versions have happened various times these past months and years. The difference was that I finally felt able to handle the situation calmly, directly, and with more resourcefulness […]

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42 Moons

January 18, 2021 No Comments

Featured Image by Mark Tegethoff on Unsplash 12th October 2020 I have long had an uncanny ability to work out time zones. What time is it right now in Sydney where they are 8 hours ahead? Or in Minneapolis which is 7 hours behind? Or if I want a call with someone in New York […]

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I want MIKE!

January 18, 2021 3 Comments

5th October 2020 Main photo by Jane del Pozo, Dec 2016, soon after Mike’s diagnosis I am just back from a brave week of open water swimming in the waters of the La Maddalena Archipelago, off the north-east coast of Sardinia. Brave because it’s the end of summer – indeed early autumn (we had three […]

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Long Live Live Music

January 18, 2021 No Comments

Main Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash and others from GECA website and Guildhall Gold Medal Concert 2020 28 September 2020 One of the phrases that I hear, and that I use myself, in my still new, post-loss world, is “this life of after”. It’s a phrase that would do well to be used too […]

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From “What’s Wrong?” to “What’s Possible?”

January 18, 2021 No Comments

Main Image by Leonardo Santamaria for NPR 22 September 2020 Confession: I have no idea where this piece of writing will go. Another confession: That happens quite often with these blogposts, though for sure much of my writing comes from a specific incident that has stood out during my week. Other times I latch onto […]

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Sliced and Diced and Cored

January 18, 2021 1 Comment

14th September 2020 Featured Photo by Nikolai Chernichenko on Unsplash I have written quite a bit about my challenging relationship with Death Admin. That I despise it. That it’s painful. That it takes too much time and energy and money. That it is prone to make me cry bitter, angry and hurting tears. And that […]

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